Category: Coffee, Culture & Curve Balls

We all know the snob in the room — the person who seems to float past everyone else with that subtle air of superiority, as if human connection is optional and the rest of us should feel honoured to breathe the same oxygen. But here’s the twist: the real power never belongs to that person. It belongs to the one who chooses connection over comparison, contribution over calculation, and authenticity over image. It belongs to the human who walks into a room not to rank people, but to relate to them.

We’ve all encountered the other kind. They enter a space with the precision of a scanner, quietly assessing who is “worth” their time, their conversation, or their attention. Their greeting depends not on warmth but on title, reputation, or perceived value. For them, “What do you do?” is not curiosity — it’s a measurement tool. Some flaunt a superior education. Some cling to a family name as if it were an access card. Others parade property portfolios like they’re auditioning for a glossy magazine. And some simply behave as though the world rotates at a special angle just for them. The saddest reality is that most of these people are not intentionally cruel; they’re just empty inside. They’re standing on ladders built on comparison, and those ladders are always fragile.

This transactional mindset shows up everywhere — in boardrooms, social circles, networking events, family gatherings, and even in casual daily encounters. People walk into conversations mentally rehearsing questions like: What can I get from this person? Who here is worth my attention? How can I position myself to their advantage? It’s an exhausting way to live, not only for the person doing it but for everyone forced to interact with them. Ironically, this approach never produces deep opportunity, genuine connection, or meaningful relationships. People aren’t transactions to process or leverage, and connection isn’t a currency to trade. It’s no wonder that the transactional networker leaves spaces with pockets full of business cards but hearts devoid of relationships.

Now imagine flipping the script entirely. Instead of entering an interaction asking what someone can offer you, imagine approaching every conversation with the simple question: How can I add value here? Not in a draining, self-sacrificing kind of way, but in a grounded, open, quietly generous way that says, “I’m here to connect, not to consume.” Maybe your contribution is encouragement or insight. Maybe you can introduce someone to a person they need to meet. Maybe you can share something that helps, uplifts, or reassures. Maybe your presence simply creates space for someone else to feel seen. Contribution doesn’t require wealth, status, influence, or a name engraved on the gates of an exclusive estate. It requires intention. It requires attention. It requires a willingness to be human first and impressive later — if ever.

The beautiful thing about showing up this way is that the wheel always turns. People remember who made them feel valued rather than assessed. They gravitate toward those who treat them with dignity regardless of their title or circumstances. They return to the ones who were kind even when no one was watching. The transactional networker might accumulate contacts, but the person who leads with connection builds community. And community — not contacts — is what sustains careers, relationships, and reputations over the long term.

Let’s speak to the elephant lounging in the corner of this elegant room: superiority is not a sign of strength. The people who walk around convinced they are above others — too wealthy, too successful, too educated, too connected to bother with ordinary humans — are not thriving. They are performing. Superiority is almost always a costume worn over insecurity. Arrogance is a mask constructed to hide a sense of inadequacy. Detachment exists to protect fragile egos. Snobbery is simply loneliness wrapped in designer packaging. Truly grounded, fulfilled people don’t need to posture. They don’t need to rank themselves or anyone else. They don’t need to win the room because they are at ease within themselves. And because they are whole, they give easily, engage effortlessly, and uplift naturally. It is the hollow ones who rely on status to fill the silence.

Authenticity, on the other hand, wins every single time. We live in a world that sparkles with performance, where impressions can be manufactured and appearances can be carefully edited. But authenticity hums quietly beneath the noise — and it draws people in more deeply than any polished façade. While so many chase recognition or validation, the ones who stand out are those who invest in relationship rather than reputation. Success built on image collapses the moment the image cracks. Success built on genuine connection lasts decades. We say it often and it remains true every time: fake fails. Maybe not immediately, but eventually — always. Authenticity is the opposite. It compounds. It grows roots. It extends outward. It returns multiplied. When you show up as your real self, people relax. They trust. They open doors. They introduce you to others. They remember you for the right reasons. You don’t have to perform or pretend or constantly prove your worth. You simply have to show up sincerely, kindly, and with the willingness to contribute something meaningful.

Life has an extraordinary way of balancing its own scales. Those who invest in people always win in the long run. Those who uplift others rise effortlessly without having to climb over anyone. Those who lead with generosity receive more than they ever give. And those who move through the world with entitlement, ego, or extraction eventually find themselves standing alone in rooms full of acquaintances but devoid of true connection.

So the next time you meet someone — any someone — resist the instinct to evaluate what they can offer you. Instead, wonder what you can offer them. It transforms conversations. It deepens relationships. And ultimately, it transforms you. Because the wheel turns. Kindness returns. And authenticity will always, always win.